Confrontation
by Arrant Schemata
Summary: A confrontation, confessions and a promise.


**Disclaimer – **_Not mine, never will be._

**Spoilers - **_All of Season 4 so far and the promo for Headhunters, so if you wish to remain spoiler free, turn away now. __  
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**Author's Note - **_ One line of dialogue came to me while I was doing the washing up the other day and it stuck in my head and began to take shape into more of an actual idea and then, when I decided to write it out tonight, it developed a life of its own and became more than I imagined. I hope you like it, please forgive any mistakes as this has not been beta-ed and I'm typing it up at 03:00. If you do like it then please review, as they will help to soothe my aching hand which isn't happy with my need to write stories out freehand before typing them up..._

**Confrontation**

The loud knocking on his door interrupted Rick's movie and he slowly made his way over to answer the door. His speed dictated by his injuries and his knowledge of who was on the other side of the door – no one but Kate would be knocking at 10:30 on a Wednesday night. He wasn't sure he wanted to see her right now; he knew she'd be pissed at him as there was no way his antics hadn't spread through the 12th lie wildfire.

He finally reached the door and slowly pulled it open. Just as he predicted, Kate was on the other side, looking angrier than he'd seen her in a long time. As soon as the door was fully open, she pushed her was past Castle and strode into the loft. She took off her coat and threw it against the breakfast bar.

"Make yourself comfortable," Rick said, sarcasm dripping from every syllable.

At his voice she span around and practically spat, "What do you think you're playing at?"

"I have no idea what you mean Beckett," was his only response.

""Don't you dare give me that bull-crap – you know exactly what I mean. Getting involved in take down's, walking around with a gun on your hip like you're God damn John Wayne, getting way too close to a gang what would kill you as soon as look at you. For God's sake Rick, you're lucky all you have are some bruises and a couple of stitches. You could have been killed."

"You never seemed to mind my being in danger when we were working together." He retorted.

"Are you blind as well as stupid?" Without waiting for a response she continued to lay into him. "Of course I minded you being in danger, that's why I made damn sure you weren't involved in obviously dangerous situations, why I always made you wear a vest and why you always stayed behind me when entering an unknown situation. I would never intentionally take you in to a dangerous situation unless there was no other choice and lives were on the line."

"I've come home with worse cuts and bruises from being with you than I got with Slaughter."

Her anger seemed to lessen at that, or she was simply trying to make him see her point.

"Come home being the operative words, you keep going down this path and there's a good chance you won't come home."

"What path?"

"Whatever path it is that has you risking your life, all for a story, putting yourself in harm's way for nothing but a character and an adrenaline rush. You wear a gun and you become a target, why do you think I never let you carry a gun, even though I know you're a good shot?"

"That's a good point, why don't you let me carry a gun?" His anger was beginning to get the better of him.

"Because I made a promise to myself a long time ago, I would not be the reason why Alexis lost the only parent she really has. So I made sure to reduce the risk to your life by not encouraging you to carry a gun, by being your gun myself. I would never forgive myself if you got seriously hurt on my watch."

"This wasn't your watch, so there's no need to feel guilty about me getting injured."

Kate let out an exasperated breath, "You think this is about me feeling guilty?" Her anger was back at his bullheadedness. "This has nothing to do with me feeling guilty; this has to do with your obvious disregard for your own safety. Do you think Slaughter cares if you come home to your daughter? Do you think he'd give a second thought if something happened to you? Who do you think would have to tell Alexis that you'd gotten yourself killed? It certainly wouldn't be Slaughter; he'd be too busy chasing down the next case, the next rush. No, it would be me that had to tell your amazing daughter that you weren't coming home again. What do you think that would do to her? You think she'd survive something happening to you? Don't you dare make me break your daughter's heart Rick!"

At the mention of his daughter his ire had increased, how dare she bring Alexis into this?

"Leave Alexis out of this," he ground out from between gritted teeth.

"No. You once asked me to take care of Alexis if anything happened to you; well this is me doing it. Something has happened to you in the last couple of weeks and this is me taking care of Alexis, she does not deserve to be the victim of whatever it is that has you so gung-ho about putting yourself in danger."

Rick's anger deflated at her impassioned words, he really hadn't been considering Alexis this last couple of weeks. He'd only been thinking about his own broken heart and hurt pride. He'd not been much of a father recently.

He collapsed on the sofa and looked over at Kate, all indignant anger and passion. He sighed,

"You're right, I've not been thinking about how my actions could affect Alexis. Thank you for thinking of her when I should have been. It won't happen again, I won't be shadowing Slaughter anymore." How was he ever going to get over her when she cared so much about his daughter?

Seeing that her words had had the desired effect, she turned away from him and picked up her coat. She'd said her piece and now it was time to leave, she may not have his love anymore but at least he still listened to her.

Rick looked up as he heard her footsteps walk away.

"You're leaving?"

Kate merely nodded her head and continued walking to the door, as her hand grabbed the handle she heard his voice once again.

"Why?"

"Because I'm tired Castle."

"No. Why did you come here tonight? Were you really that angry on Alexis' behalf?"

It was her turn to sigh; she wasn't going to get out of here with her dignity intact was she?

"No," she answered softly, "not entirely."

He stood from the sofa and walked towards her, stopping only a few feet away.

He asked as gently as he could, scared of frightening her away, "Then why?"

She turned around and faced him, better late than never, right?

"Because I love you, you idiot and even though you no longer seem to care about me I can't turn off my feelings and I know how much Alexis means to you and I wouldn't want you to jeopardise that by..."

Her speech was cut off by Rick grabbing her head and pulling her towards him and into the most intense kiss of her life. Lips met, tongues dulled, hands explored and breaths were shared.

They slowly pulled away from one another.

"You love me?" asked Rick in an amazed voice.

Kate's brain was still trying to process what had just happened so she answered with a simple, "Yes."

Rick pulled her back into his arms, "Oh God, I thought...I thought you didn't care about me like that."

Kate moved in his arms so she could look in his eyes, "What made you think that?"

"The bombing case, when you were interviewing the pickpocket, you told him you remembered everything about your shooting. I thought that meant you didn't feel for me what I felt for you. I thought you were too embarrassed to tell me and I acted out. I'm sorry."

"Oh. I'm sorry you had to hear it like that, I've been trying to work out how to tell you that I'd heard you, but the longer I left it, the harder it became to admit."

"Why did you lie?"

"I guess it was the easy option, the coward's way out. I had so much to deal with as it was, my shooting, my recovery, Montgomery's death, Josh. Your words seemed like the easiest to ignore, or so I thought. There wasn't a day during those three months we were apart that I didn't hear your words play over and over again in my head. I wanted to call you, but I knew that would be an even bigger mistake. I wasn't strong enough to be with you. I wasn't ready to dive into anything with you. I needed to work out who I was, I'd lived so long under the shadow of my mom's death that I'd lost myself somewhere along the way. I've been seeing a therapist and I'm working on letting go of her death and becoming the person you deserve."

Rick remained silent during her confession; he hadn't expected it to be such a confession. He lifted a hand from where it rested on her waist and wiped away the tears he wasn't even sure she knew she'd shed.

"You've always been more than I deserve. You never let me get away with anything, never fell over yourself to please me. You made me realise that if I wanted to be taken seriously by you I couldn't rely on my fame and looks, I actually had to have something to back it up. You made me become a man of substance and not simply a mask to please the masses. You have made me a better man, a better father and a better son. I can't imagine where I would be if I hadn't met you."

Kate shook her head, "You're giving me too much credit, you've always been an amazing father and son."

"But you made me realise that I could be the man I was with my daughter and mother and people would still want to listen to what I had to say. I didn't have to pretend with you because you could see right through it. You made me accountable for my actions; no one had done that before, not even my mother."

"If that's what you believe them I'm not going to argue, but I know that man would have shown himself eventually."

"You have more faith in me than I do."

"It's because I love you."

Rick kissed Kate again, "I don't think I'm ever going to tire of hearing you say that. I love you too Kate, always."

The smile that broke across Kate's face was one he wasn't sure he'd ever seen before, it was pure unadulterated joy. This time she pulled Rick into a kiss unlike any he's known before. Eventually, they pulled away from each other's lips and simple enjoyed holding one another, safe in the knowledge of returned feelings. But reality began to seep back into the bubble they had created for themselves. Rick pulled back from Kate's embrace and found he could no longer keep his own secret from her, not after her confessions.

"Kate, there's something I need to tell you, something I've been keeping secret." He removed himself fully from her arms and began to pace the floor.

"What is it?" she asked with trepidation.

"You know how Ryan, Esposito and I were looking into your shooting? Well, when you came back I got a call from a man who called himself Smith, he told me that Roy had sent him some files, files that he had been using to keep himself, his family and you safe. Smith said that he could use these files and continue to keep you safe, but only if you stopped investigating your mother's case."

Kate came to the conclusion without Rick needing to say anymore, "So you asked me to step back, you thought that if I knew about this file I'd jump straight back down the rabbit hole?"

The look on his face was all the answer she needed, "It's ok, you were right, the place I was in then, I would have jumped without a second thought."

"That's not all. He called me again, during the Wheldon case. The same person responsible for your mom's death was involved in the conspiracy to ruin Wheldon's reputation. He couldn't be bought and therefore, he had to go. But Smith knew that with Wheldon gone, Captain Gates would have no reason to keep me around and then there would be no one stopping you from investigating your mom's case and Roy's sacrifice would have been for nought. So, he helped to save what was left of Wheldon's career."

Once he finished speaking he lowered his head and looked at the floor, it was judgement day and he had no idea what the outcome would be. Suddenly he felt Kate's fingers under his chin, lifting his eyes to hers.

"It's alright Rick. I know why you kept this from me, you had no idea that I was working on becoming more than my mom's case, you only had my past behaviour to go on. But I need you to do something for me."

"I'll do anything Kate."

"Stop. Stop looking in to my shooting and my mom's death. I can't move past it if I know you're investigating. I'm not saying I'll never look into it again, I'm sure, one day, a case will cross my desk that pulls me back in, but I want you by my side when that happens. If you keep investigating then..."

"Kate, don't worry. I'll stop. I never really got very far once I had to go it alone anyway. All the new information I have is because of Smith."

"That's another thing I need you to do for me, if he calls again you need to tell me, straight away. No more secrets Rick. Mine almost destroyed us and I won't risk that happening again." Her tear filled eyes held his.

Ricked pulled her into his arms once again and whispered against her hair, "I promise Kate, no more secrets. You and I are in this thing together, always."

Kate rested her head against his shoulder and repeated his promise,

"Always."


End file.
